The Davidperdue sighed at the moon overhead. He tucked his tail between his legs and leaned back against the wall outside the entrance to his cave. Before he did so, he checked to make sure the wall was clean. There was a family of poo-flinging Monkeysaurae who lived next door. He tried to relax but his joints gnawed at him, reminding him of every one of the seventy dino years he’d spent negotiating this god-forsaken jungle. And there was that other thing.
It was Sunday night and he was a dino without a debate. A dino without a speech. A dino without a clue. How could this be happening to him? The Grand Old Party Sin Hit dino was supposed to be at the big shindig debate railing, regaling and impaling the Johnossoff with snappy one-liners. But there would be no railing, regaling or impaling. Oh, no. The snappy one-liner stared him in the face. He was coolin’ his heels home alone.
Their debate was to kick things off before the second tete-a-tete between the Raphaelwarnock and that spasmodically radical right wing conservative, the Kellyloeffler. This was his and Loeffler’s last chance to woo the Georgia Orchard dinos to the polls in one month’s time for a vote that would determine which pack of dinos would control the Sin Hut and thereby govern the Milkanhoney Preservation. The losing pack would be left to grovel. No dinos liked groveling.
But here he was. Stuck in his cave. Just this side of groveling. Despite the discomfort, he flexed his short arms if only to kickstart his confidence. He was a mover and shaker. That’s who he was. Unfortunately he’d been moving and shaking a little too much lately. The Davidperdue and the Kellyloeffler had been found guilty of using their influence in the Puhl-DePlug Reservoir to make millions of moolah-moolah leaves off shady insider trading. He said a silent prayer, ostensibly thanking the Williambarr for white-washing the whole affair.
His gaze drifted back to the Monkeysaurae home next door. He should probably head back inside soon. It wasn’t the flying poo that frightened him. What if one of them came out and asked him why he was home when he should be at the debate and wasn’t the Kellyloeffler involved in the very same insider trading he’d been in and if she stayed home like him, well then there would be no Grandoldparty dino on the stage and was that how the Grandoldparty dinos really ran the Sin Hut? What the hell was going on in the Georgia Orchard these days?
He sighed again, turned for his cave and entered with a melancholy tune on his lips.
She calls me up and says Davey, are ya lonely tonight?
Yeah, Kelly, I’m so scared and lonely, it’s Ossoff all the time
Somebody said a Perdue’s a chicken any which way
No, no, no, no, no
But I have to admit I laid an egg today
It’s a lonely ol’ night
Sittin’ here as Georgia turns blue
It’s a lonely ol’ night
Makin’ trades cuz the lonely need something to do
MAGA’s quickly becoming T-Rump’s mad, mad throng
They’re marching onto the home of Georgia’s poor guv
I guess he feels awfully alone
He needs to understand what T-Rump means
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
And it’s a sad, sad, sad, sad feeling when I’m living in
This quarantine
It’s just one day
It’s a lonely ol’ night
Sittin’ here as Georgia turns blue
It’s a lonely ol’ night
Makin’ trades cuz the lonely need something to do
She calls me, Davey, should we buy or sell, Davey?
It’s a lonely ol’ night but that’s my call
It’s a lonely ol’ night
Sittin’ here as Georgia turns blue
It’s a lonely ol’ night
Makin’ trades cuz the lonely need something to do
It’s a lonely ol’ night
Sittin’ here as Georgia turns blue
It’s a lonely ol’ night
Makin’ trades cuz the lonely need something to do
Yeah, like me, I knew
Yeah, like me, I knew
………………………………
You can hear the musical version of today’s post and previous T-Rump Digs at my podcast site at Podbean. Two new T-Rump tracks every Saturday. Enjoy!
David Belisle 